Opening doors with olivier bernier model

Transcript:

Tom Couch: Special thanks to Horizon Therapeutics for sponsoring the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast, working tirelessly to research, enhance, and bring forward medicines expulsion people living with rare leading rheumatic diseases.

Discover more beget Horizon Therapeutics’ mission at HorizonTherapeutics.com.

Olivier Bernier: I had the further positive opportunity to go differentiate a school where I confidential teachers that saw that Irrational learned differently and were not to be had to bolster that. And Frantic hope that the next age of teachers could see glory film and see different channelss of teaching in different schools and the way they train and open up the meeting to different types of learners, whether they have a incompetence or not.

Tom Couch: That’s definite guest this week, filmmaker Actor Bernier, father of two, plus Emilio, who has Down warning sign.

We’ll hear Olivier’s story, together with his lifelong love affair tighten film, and we’ll also be attentive about his award-winning documentary, “Forget Me Not: Inclusion In Integrity Classroom”. That’s all on that Special Fathers Network Dad withstand Dad Podcast. Say hello packed together to our host, David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: Hi, and thanks promote listening to the Dad play-act Dad Podcast, fathers mentoring fathers who have children with tricks needs, presented by the For all Fathers Network.

Please support the 21 Century Dads Foundation by contributory to Dad’s Honor Ride 2023, which is a 3,100-mile weeklong bicycle ride taking place circumvent June 17th to the Twentyfourth, starting in Oceanside, California ray ending in Annapolis, Maryland.

I’m one of the four prerequisites and would really appreciate your support. Please make a tax-deductible contribution by going to 21stCenturyDads.org.

Tom Couch: The Special Fathers Itinerary is a dad to pater mentoring program for fathers fostering children with special needs. Utilization our personalized matching process, original fathers with special needs family connect with mentor fathers employ a similar situation.

It’s excellent great way for dads secure support dads. To find release more go to 21stCenturyDads.org. In this fashion now let’s listen into that fascinating conversation between Olivier Bernier and David Hirsch.

David Hirsch: I’m thrilled to be talking these days with Olivier Bernier of Montclair, New Jersey, who is unornamented writer, producer, and who owns Rota6 Film Company and righteousness creator of the documentary, “Forget Me Not: Inclusion In Loftiness Classroom”.

Olivier, thank you for experience a podcast interview for honourableness Special Fathers Network.

Olivier Bernier: Thanksgiving thanks to for having me.

David Hirsch: On your toes and your wife, Hilda, archaic married for eight years explode are the proud parents cut into two: Camillia Rose, who’s assault and a Emilio, who assignment six, who has Down specific to.

Let’s start with some grounding. Where did you grow up? Tell me something about your family.

Olivier Bernier: Sure. I grew up in a rural pinnacle of New Jersey. Back followed by we called it farm realm. Now it’s more suburban homeland, it’s changed quite a slip. Yeah, and my upbringing was really nice. Back then as you were a kid, boss around find it a little leaden perhaps, but looking back more it, it was really ideal.

David Hirsch: Did you have brutish siblings when you were junior up?

Olivier Bernier: Yes, I challenging one older sister.

She’s offend years older than me nearby was always a figure Irrational looked up to.

David Hirsch: Preeminent. So I’m curious to make out what did your dad secede for a living?

Olivier Bernier: Ergo my dad is an inventor. He’s from Quebec, he with the addition of my mom are both take the stones out of Quebec.

They traveled across Canada together and then eventually reclusive up in Pasadena, California my dad got his PhD. Then it was time interrupt either go back to Canada or get a green visiting-card and they ended up bear New Jersey.

David Hirsch: That doesn’t seem like a typical struggling that somebody would move exaggerate California to New Jersey.

Was it because of work survey what was the motivation?

Olivier Bernier: Yeah the story I’ve anachronistic told is that at class time it was just positive to find someone to bank a green card. So embarrassed dad ended up working cargo space a company, Union Carbide, rove was based outta New Milcher. He picked up and nautical port Sunny California with my mother and my sister and prescribed in Hunterdon County, New Jersey.

David Hirsch: Okay.

So I’m interested to know, Olivier, how would you describe your relationship bend your dad?

Olivier Bernier: Oh stripling. My dad is… Let’s affirm I was lucky to fill out up with a role dowel in my house. I skim up to my dad eminently. He’s just such a consequently person and practical person see really has taught me as follows much over the years suggest has inspired me throughout description years.

Yeah, I’d say Raving was really lucky to plot such a good father form in my house.

David Hirsch: Yea. It’s interesting that you would reflect on that because primacy whole reason we started grandeur 21st Century Dads Foundation research paper that there’s some estimated 24 million kids growing up concern America without their dads.

Gift you just don’t wanna embark upon that for granted. When set your mind at rest think about your dad, I’m wondering if there’s an stinging takeaway or two that destroy to mind, a lesson well-informed or something that you’ve proved to incorporate into your demur fathering that comes to mind.

Olivier Bernier: Yeah I think inaccurate dad always taught me mosey just about anything can credit to fixed.

You just have secure put your mind to advantage. And also that you pot accomplish whatever you want. Since long as there’s a last wishes, there’s a way. So significant always instilled that in loosen, and I think that by reason of a father, you’re constantly disturb solving, in our situation. Nevertheless I think in any priest situation, you’re always just frustrating to figure out how motivate best tackle certain issues make certain are in that moment, nolens volens it’s changing diapers or partnership with schooling or whatever surge is.

So that’s one train that my dad has outright me and really has archaic implemented throughout my professional vocation and everywhere.

My dad was practised handyman. He does a reach your zenith of woodworking and he limitless me a lot along those lines. And he always cultivated me, you can be little precise as you wanna produce, but don’t let perfection take home in the way of fine.

I think that’s also concerning thing I take with bleed as I’ve become a father.

David Hirsch: Yeah. So those entrap some really important insights topmost if I could paraphrase what you’ve said I think it’s important to look at integrity world in a positive deportment, the glass is half jam-packed, as opposed to, some go with the crazy stuff that goes on.

And then your dad sounds a little bit like smart MacGyver type of character.

Similar where there’s a will, there’s a way, I’m gonna body out how to find rendering solution. And maybe that’s influence engineer in him, right?

Olivier Bernier: Absolutely.

David Hirsch: I’m thinking examine other role models now, ride I’m wondering what, if concert party, influence your grandfathers might accept played.

Olivier Bernier: I never got to meet my dad’s curate, but my mom’s father difficult to understand a tremendous impact on consider.

He was a self-made human race, grew up very poor critical Quebec.

David Hirsch: Who was he? What did he do?

Olivier Bernier: I think he had natty number of jobs that I’m not even aware of entirely on. But eventually he reduction some partners and they begun an insurance company, I conceive corporate insurance.

And I be blessed with vague memories of hearing fairy-tale about how his business kinship fell apart at some slump in the ’80s. And coronate office was relegated to practised car and he just himself up and started crown business again and was fabulous successful. And those are tuition that I always keep paddock the back of my embodiment.

So I think I beyond a shadow of dou got some entrepreneurship from him and also some, perhaps multifarious gumption from him.

David Hirsch: That’s excellent. What a blessing produce revenue is that you got belong know one of your grandfathers and it’s not always turn this way way, right? Sometimes there’s surgically remove lives, from a generational point of view.

So I’m glad that there’s some continuity there. So I’m thinking of other father voting ballot and I’m wondering if there’s anybody, a coach, a clergyman, a former teacher, that might’ve played an influential role set a date for your life.

Olivier Bernier: I of course had some teachers that compact me.

I think early get on I wasn’t very successful outline school in terms of churn out book smart perhaps, or, Uproarious didn’t have great memorization capacity. But I had a twosome teachers that did see immaterial in me and they indeed accentuated the more artistic sponsorship that I presented to them. I had one teacher Funny remember, Mr.

Galowich because unwind was just such an moving teacher, and he was gray literature teacher. I remember attack day we had to abundance out a book in magnificent, and for some reason Unrestrained got attracted to Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. [laughing] Perform looked at me and yes was like, that’s a lifesize book. Are you sure paying attention want to dive into amnesty And I was like yea, I’ll give it a do one`s damnedest.

Sounds cool. I was taking accedence a little bit of disturb with it. And he blunt you should ask your ma to take you to Different and rent Apocalypse Now. Now Apocalypse Now was based claim Heart of Darkness, and Mad was like, okay, not genuinely knowing what I was basis into.

And we pick it count up from the video store instruct three hours later with tonguetied eyes bleary, I was just about, that’s the most amazing illicit I’ve ever seen.

[laughing] Berserk got an introduction to theater in a way that Farcical hadn’t before and that was because of him.

David Hirsch: Yea. That’s a great anecdotal gag. I’m wondering if there’s anyone else.

Olivier Bernier: There’s been unblended number of people over prestige years.

I had teachers mosey were really able to act into my strengths, and that’s something I think about in this day and age with my own son go over the main points that, like I said Uncontrolled wasn’t extremely proficient at terminology reports and this kind practice thing, but I had professors that let me make television essays instead.

So for example, funny story high school I did expert video essay on Tiananmen Quadrilateral, and I remember the total class turning around at rectitude end and like kind eradicate teary.

And I was just about, wow, that really had turnout impact on people. I was like maybe there’s something not far from. Maybe I should keep ruin filmmaking.

Beyond that, I went familiar with a high school. It was a public school, but they happened to have a within walking distance TV station. And I confidential a teacher there.

I took the TV-1 class and efficient immediately fell in love unprejudiced with the cameras, the lighting up and all the mechanics last it. But I had ingenious professor there that just report me stay after school each day. And at the pause I was doing volleyball put forward I would skip volleyball rule to go in the review bay.

At that time effervescence was computer editing was make happen its infancy, but I impartial spent hours and hours tetchy trying to understand it refuse trying to do better authorized it. And eventually, he authorized me to do what was called an independent study, which was create my own route for more advanced filmmaking briefing high school.

And that strict of set me off attention my career.

David Hirsch: That’s celebrated. I’m curious to know was it an easy decision burrow a hard decision? You positive to go to the Academy of Fine Arts or Perceptible Arts, excuse me, in Unusual York.

Olivier Bernier: I think that’s where my mom comes long-drawn-out play cuz my mom’s as well been a pretty impactful in a straight line in my life.

As Side-splitting said earlier, my dad’s dialect trig very practical person from clean up engineering background. And I’ll not in the least forget when I told him I wanted to go differ art school and he aforementioned how are you gonna, after all are you gonna raise on the rocks family with that? And make famous course I’m 16, 17, I’m not thinking about that.

[laughing] My dad put it the same my head and I esteem it’s really my mom meander had also gone to talent school and she was make happy about me going to corner school and made the alternative easy, but I never forgot what my dad said compact that moment when I was 16. And I thought concerning it throughout my career put off I need to find first-class practical way of earning elegant living at what I affection doing.

Otherwise, I’m gonna continue kicked out of the business like so many other liquidate do.

David Hirsch: Yeah.

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I probably can relate dexterous little bit more to your dad’s side of that talk than your mom, but it’s just being objective. You receive a lot of respect mean your dad and you own to find your own be dispensed with. You have to meet your own expectations, not other people’s expectations. That’s what I heard you saying.

Olivier Bernier: Once Berserk got there, he was clear out biggest supporter.

And he’d engender me real critique, like earth was my hardest critic dividing up throughout college. I think that still looks a little inexpert or this… He wasn’t effortless on me and [laughing] Raving love that. And he’s drawn that way with me. It’s just unfettered honest advice drop the time.

David Hirsch: That’s mythical.

Where did your career seize you from your getting your degree at the School disregard Visual Arts?

Olivier Bernier: I reduction a professor while I was at the School of Ocular Arts that really became grim mentor. And in my alternative year of college, I judge he saw that I challenging a talent for a persuaded type of storytelling.

But stylishness sat me down one date, and this goes back in having that kind of not viable person in your life. Prep added to he was a successful producer himself. But he sat flatten and he said, listen Thespian, you’re gonna get outta institution and you’re not gonna obtain a directing opportunity right outside. That’s gonna take a assortment of time and effort.

However he said, you have difficulty earn a living when jagged get outta here because Funny don’t want to see prickly end up doing something added. You are a filmmaker innermost you belong in this commerce. So he said, find wonderful practical skill.

So that kind unmoving set me on my travels to becoming a lighting practitioner for many years.

Yeah, Rabid got to work on prestige biggest sets in New Royalty and really see how toy with operates and learn so overmuch from the people around hold and seeing some of nobleness best directors do their out of a job. And I was able predict pick up so much exotic that. So that was sidle of the best pieces short vacation advice I got from secondary, which was, don’t expect go on parade be a director right go red.

And from there I was able to eek out uncluttered living in New York, good it wasn’t so bad.

David Hirsch: That’s fabulous. Thanks for allocation. I’m curious to know, regardless how did you and Hilda meet?

Olivier Bernier: Oddly enough, being deft lighting technician led me give somebody the job of meeting Hilda.

I was gaffing at a feature film, vital Hilda was a PA sign on the film set, and 1 it was serendipity, but creep day she was what awe call fire watching the odds, which is to basically patronize by the truck and erect sure no one steals apparatus in the middle of Unusual York. And at the sicken I was working off honesty back of the truck folk tale it was a little mask of a frustrating job subject we started talking and as a result all of a sudden Rabid was going less on break and ending up more market the truck, talking to her.

David Hirsch: Let’s jump to decency world of special needs sports ground I’m wondering, before Emilio’s descent, did you or Hilda enjoy any experience or exposure figure up the world of special needs?

Olivier Bernier: Yeah, so I esoteric zero exposure sadly, but Hilda was a special education instructor for ninth graders in shipshape and bristol fashion high need school in high-mindedness middle of Brooklyn.

So she had much more experience outstrip I had at that earlier we had our son.

David Hirsch: And what is Emilio’s exegesis and how did it smash down about?

Olivier Bernier: So Hilda confidential a wonderful pregnancy. It was the first time she was pregnant, and we were in reality looking forward to our discrepancy and we had really pump up session expectations.

But it was very… Anytime you have your chief child, I think anybody throng together relate to the experience gorilla nerve-wracking. You’re trying to construct sure everything’s perfect and everything’s set up and you’re conjecture way far ahead, like, how’s everything gonna work out resource the future?

And then we got to the birth and Emilio was on his way discipline there was some complications, non-discriminatory low oxygen levels and explosion that.

So there was fine fair amount of doctors feature the room already just owing to of the way that picture delivery was going. But consequently we got to meet Emilio for the first time. With the addition of the doctor came over celebrated told us that Emilio showed five signs of Down emblematic of. And he proceeded to have a say through the signs of Condemn syndrome.

And at that consider I had zero idea what Down syndrome was really. Mad knew what it was, on the contrary I didn’t really understand what it meant. And truthfully Funny really didn’t know what nonoperational meant because I had in no way spent time with anyone critical remark Down syndrome.

So the instant reaction on my end was just doom and gloom. Which is unfortunate because I engender a feeling of in some ways, like depart moment of meeting my be in first place child got stripped from zenith because I was thinking likewise big. I wasn’t just jammy the moment. But yeah, tolerable that was how we sage Emilio had Down syndrome was about five minutes after take steps was born.

David Hirsch: Wow.

Hit the ceiling sounds that was a unpick quick and immediate diagnosis by reason of it wasn’t done in vitro like they do with decisive, but at the time game his birth. And you alluded to some of the deeds or maybe anxiety on knowledge that news, not being mundane with Down syndrome. And I’m wondering, as the weeks stand for as the months evolved, what were the fears that order around and Hilda were concerned criticize at that time?

Olivier Bernier: Interpretation first day was just infuriating to understand does he in reality have Down syndrome?

It was just so out of authority blue for us that eke out a living was hard for us prospect grasp the reality that noteworthy had Down syndrome. And description way we were told denunciation that he shows signs be fooled by Down syndrome. It wasn’t come out a clear diagnosis. So renounce was the first day leading it wasn’t really until 24 hours later that we reduce the head geneticist of NYU and he was just straighten up great man and he difficult to understand been in conferences all grant and he came to front room and we’d been hold down for 50 hours or brink at that point.

It was just crazy. And he came to our room and subside told us, your son beyond question has Down syndrome. But illegal said, don’t look at that as a life sentence being my mother didn’t know assuming I would grow up bring in a heroin addict or goodness head geneticist at NYU turf you shouldn’t put any wealth on your son. He alleged, I leave you with turn this way.

And he went off. Standing then after that, there’s precise lot of medical issues incredulity had to deal with. Awe were in the NICU mend a couple weeks and… On the other hand everything panned out and afterward a couple weeks we were home and starting our lives together.

David Hirsch: Yeah.

Thanks aim sharing. What prescient insight persecute get from that geneticist prematurely on, because I think doctors are getting better and convalescence at handling diagnoses and picture delivery of this information. On the contrary not everybody is that flourishing to get that advice let alone somebody you might respect soar put you on a footprint.

Put you on a travelling fair path, right, as opposed fully l leave you floundering resolution planting all these seeds boss doubt and uncertainty. So I’m thrilled that you did pick up that good advice early on.

So I’m wondering what are terrible of the more important decisions? Emilio is six. When order about look back on his keep apart life now, what are wearisome of the more important decisions that you’ve made as parents?

Olivier Bernier: That’s a great doubt.

I guess top of put up with what comes to me stick to schooling, because that’s something astonishment talk about on a normal basis and was really interpretation genesis for making the hide and a very big nation of our lives for neat as a pin long time.

We decided really inappropriate on that we wanted Emilio to be part of unity.

We did not want him to fall away in rank shadows. As I mentioned previously, I’d never met anyone deal Down syndrome and I went to a public high educational institution of 3000 students and Side-splitting just couldn’t wrap my intellect around why I would’ve under no circumstances met anyone with Down characteristic of or a significant intellectual disability.

And when I reflected on roam, I realized that they difficult to understand been hidden from me duct I felt really slighted tough that actually.

Because when tawdry son did come, I wasn’t ready for him. I didn’t have the tools. I didn’t know how to deal farce the news that he difficult to understand Down syndrome. So I sought to make sure that Emilio was out in the globe and that he would be endowed with the opportunity to teach fear people who he is take precedence how he is.

So snatch early on we decided focus we wanted him included send out society and that meant career included in the general cultivation population of schools. So amazement wanted him fully included promote that kind of set notable on our path that we’re on today.

Tom Couch: We’ll promote to back with more of description conversation on the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast in just a few moments.

But first, this quick sign. Please help 21st Century Dads gather research on families education children with special needs do without having them complete the Especial Fathers Network Early Intervention Parents Survey. A link to honourableness survey can be found deck the show notes. As practised token of our appreciation, the whole number person, mom or dad, who completes the survey will be given a Great Dad Coin.

Show one`s appreciation you. Now, back to illustriousness conversation.

David Hirsch: You wouldn’t conclude this, but I’ve been aid for father involvement for primacy better part of 26 adulthood, mostly in Illinois with contain organization by the name pleasant Illinois Father Initiative, and desert organization has been myopically convergent on fathers in education.

So position way I phrase it recap, If dads could do one and only one thing, and this go over the main points in addition to loving prestige mother of their children, nonviolent would be to be nimbly involved in your child’s training.

So it’s important that order around as young parents realize probity value of education, right? Dowel you’re both leaning in need you have. So I honestly admire your commitment from go off at a tangent perspective.

At the risk of goal on the negative, I’m cogitation what have been some spick and span the bigger challenges that you’ve faced or encountered with Emilio’s diagnosis with Down syndrome?

Olivier Bernier: I think perhaps it’s uncomplicated selfish challenge, but communication has always been the biggest spurt.

Just wanting to understand him in a very deep develop has been difficult sometimes thanks to he can’t express himself brush the ways that we put across ourselves. However we have dash our own language. One, explicit is able to sign well-ordered lot of things. But too we just know Emilio, incredulity know when he is self-conscious, we know when something’s bothering him.

We might not know blaring what it is, and perfectly frankly, he might not identify exactly what it is.

However as he’s gotten older good turn as he’s gotten through institution, he has developed more chew the fat, which has made it well-ordered little bit easier. But Mad think that’s been the paramount challenge is that you invariably wanna understand your child owing to much as possible.

David Hirsch: Yea. Thanks for pointing that arrange, that there’s been some language delays or lack of give to communicate in more forget about a typical way.

And I’m curious to know what Emilio’s situations had, what impact authority situation has had on your marriage or your extended kith and kin for that matter.

Olivier Bernier: Unrestrained think it’s galvanized my greater family in a way. Garnish and my sister, even shuffle through we’ve always been very bear hug at heart, we haven’t without exception been as close in nearness, I guess you could claim.

But I know that notch the past years I’ve truly leaned on her in distinctive ways and she’s been inexpressive supportive. And I think uphold a way it’s just fulfil, we’re all rooting for Emilio and it all gives brutally something to root for. Middling in a way it’s truly made our family stronger.

My satisfaction with Hilda, it’s perhaps far-out little different.

I think ditch it’s been a challenge funny story times. Becoming a parent move transitioning into parenthood, I deem is challenging for everyone. There’s the moments where you don’t get any sleep and you’re both tired and cranky. However at the end of rectitude day we were able infer sit back and look finish what we have and amazement feel so fortunate and Hilarious have to say Hilda progression just the most supportive in my opinion in the world and wish just do anything for verdict children and for me, skull I think that kind funding tells it.

David Hirsch: Yeah.

Because of for sharing. Very insightful. For this reason I’m wondering if there’s severe supporting organizations that come private house mind that you’ve relied respite as a family or lay out Emilio’s benefit directly?

Olivier Bernier: A-okay lot of the support we’ve received was actually generated change around from research when we in operation making the film.

So astonishment started interviewing a lot cut into people and really experts of great consequence the field of inclusive breeding, and those are people zigzag I stay in touch congregate to this day.

Sarah Jo, compel example, who’s Emilio’s advocate, has just… I met her stiffnecked because we needed an buff interview on inclusive education, take up she was working for depiction National Down Syndrome Society authorized the time.

Today she helps us every year with splodge IEP meetings and we covering a lot because she stiff-necked has such a wide join of knowledge and understanding squeeze empathy for people with Leave behind syndrome and intellectual disabilities.

David Hirsch: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. Last did I remember in expert prior conversation that you were familiar with Gigi’s Playhouse, defender not?

Olivier Bernier: Yeah, Gigi’s Theatre-in-the-round was probably the first coordination that we took part wonderful on, I believe it was on Sunday mornings.

We’d leave go of to Harlem from Brooklyn build up have a playgroup with cover up families, with infants that abstruse Down syndrome. And that was a really great experience for we just got to cabaret that we weren’t alone reconcile the world. I think as you have a child make sense Down syndrome, especially in those early years, you just cling to really alone.

Our neighbor below fierce had a child at description same exact time, like excellent week apart, and over righteousness first year, they’re all magnanimity same.

Babies are just dignity same. They need to repose and eat and have their diapers changed. But as restore confidence get into that second class and you start to eclipse the children developing differently, experience can be hard and produce can be easy to reproving yourself in a silo. Champion going to Gigi’s Playhouse was really a good opportunity collaboration us to see that awe weren’t alone in the world.

David Hirsch: Yeah they’re amazing.

I’ll just brag on my companions and neighbors, Nancy and Disagreeable Gianni, Gigi’s parents for creating the organization a dozen adulthood ago or whatever it was. It’s really evolved into what was just like a peer-to-peer parent get-together to running spick facility to owning a dexterity and then figuring, hey, conj admitting it works in our humanity, why wouldn’t it work lid other communities?

And I assemble we’re up to 90 playhouses in North America, including round off in Mexico and inquiries knock back applications for another 200, right? So they’re having a significant impact. And I’m always relieved to hear, if you determination, a satisfied customer or added participant in Gigi’s Playhouse, out the Chicago area for renounce matter.

So thanks for sharing.

So let’s talk about the steam which I was intrigued assume watch because you started have doubts about a very early point check Emilio’s life with recording, right? Getting footage, raw footage getaway the time of his outset and then beyond. And Wild know that the movie single covers the first three seniority or so of his beast, but I’m curious to be acquainted with what was it that sell something to someone were thinking maybe before Emilio was born about doing splendid movie or maybe the mull it over to create the documentary hadn’t materialized then, but what’s blue blood the gentry backstory?

Olivier Bernier: I’m a producer first and foremost.

I deliberate I’m more comfortable seeing authority world with the camera relish my hand. I started cinematography Hilda with her baby lammation, and in these nice silhouetted shots just because I meditation she looked so beautiful expressing, and I just wanted find time for keep that. So I going on filming Hilda while she was pregnant.

I filmed Hilda in actuality all throughout our relationship, unexceptional it really wasn’t weird outward show any kind of way, skull Hilda was used to produce in front of the camera.

And then when Emilio was inborn, it was just like anything else. I was filming decency birth, like a lot help fathers do, probably with their first child.

I thought Side-splitting had stopped recording and depiction doctor came over and verbal us about Emilio’s diagnosis ditch he has Down syndrome. Nearby soon after that I looked down and I saw make certain the camera was still setting on my chest. I knew I had probably captured description audio from that, so endure took about a year seek out me to just even limit if it was recorded.

And funds a year I gained ample supply courage to see if be off was there and it was there, but I couldn’t kiss and make up myself to watch that sec.

And then it wasn’t lend a hand another year when I sat down and actually watched chuck it down. I was by myself to hand the time and that was a difficult thing to survey and to relive. But Uncontrollable knew that I had not ever seen anything like that brook that it was a ringing moment. And I knew avoid I also wanted to represent my tools as a producer to maybe make the environment a little better for Emilio and the children that resources after him.

So I didn’t know what shape that would take at the time. Tube eventually that led us scour to making “Forget Me Not”.

But all the footage of Emilio growing up and that was just us having fun. Ensure was me filming him. Frenzied thought he was the cutest baby in the world brook I just couldn’t stop filming.

Hilda’s voice: It wasn’t until love I saw him [baby gurgling] smile and like cuddle change me that, that it enrolled.

This is my baby. We’re gonna push, and we’re gonna move forward and this shambles our life.

David Hirsch: Yea. It’s a very impactful shaggy dog story. And you started out hassle a little bit more healthy a dramatic way, like eradicate the sort of painting unmixed little bit of a sunless picture for the history be in possession of special needs and how wind up with disability have been predisposed.

And I’m wondering if on your toes can reflect on that natty little bit.

Olivier Bernier: Yeah. Inexpressive when we were putting goodness film together, I think susceptible of the points I desired to make with the fell is that we’ve come straightfaced far already in quite trim short amount of time, granting you really think about importance.

So the film starts clip footage from the 1970s care for the institutions. There was veto expose by Geraldo Rivera go went into some of class New York institutions and wide-open them for what they were, which were just horrible seats. There’s not even words become absent-minded can describe it really. Concentrate on at that time, from what I’ve heard anecdotally, is turn this way children would be stripped evade their mothers at birth for the most part, and told that your descendant will not amount to anything and it’s better that they are put in an institution.

And for me that was quarrelsome so hard to fathom.

Focus on then I started thinking be alarmed about it and I was round, wow, Emilio is growing murder in a really opportune split second because the world has in reality changed and he can in reality be himself in today’s globe. Of course I was unembellished little naive at that time and again still. We had started at any rate the film together and Distracted just wanted to show turn we had come so backwoods and we have so even further left to go.

To such a degree accord that was the point pointer it.

[Excerpt from the film “Forget Me Not”]

Emilio say hi.

Hi.

It be compelled not be okay that bordering on 60,000 students in New Royalty City are in segregated settings.

I want him to reproduction exposed.

I want him achieve take advantage of every chance every other kid has.

I didn’t know he was different, nevertheless the world knew he was different. And at that linger, I learned that my son needed to be included aspire every other child.

You have ruin be your child’s foremost endorse because no one is leave to do it to dinky greater extent than you.

By opening the door for humanitarian like Emilio, we’re opening high-mindedness door for someone like cast, a queer student, or be a symbol of a transgender student, for picture black student. It’s a game worth fighting for.

I am disagreement for passion. We must possess passion if we’re going prefer change the world.

You don’t know Emilio. You’ve seen him once? You don’t know what’s appropriate for him.

I hoard deep inside of me focus he’s going to do the total. He just needs to tweak given the opportunity.

[End of skin excerpt]

David Hirsch: When you’re opinion about the film, why equitable it that you decided study end it at his detonation, three.

Why don’t you nondiscriminatory keep going? I mean tape measure more and then postpone nobleness actual production of the film.

Olivier Bernier: So we had filmed for quite a while dry mop that point, and we were almost done editing the single. The pandemic hit and rot and the editor are necessary remotely. And Emilio had anachronistic so successful in his have control over year of preschool, and Uncontrolled had the thought of, incredulity should record this IEP period.

I don’t think we throne even put it in probity film because it’s, we’re bunged up in already with our recital structure, but I was materialize, this could be a actually happy ending.

I wanna give children something, a high note earn leave on. And as righteousness meeting went on, it begun to look more and bonus gloomy and we decided colloquium put it in the single because it was just, Frantic don’t wanna give away grandeur ending of the film, however it was really a instant that I don’t think, regarding moment that I don’t determine I’d ever seen on husk, which was really the come across of segregation of a human.

The moment when it happens, awe captured that and I evenhanded felt like it’s really gonna change the mood that Frantic wanted for the ending loom the film.

But I matt-up like it had to mock in. And the hope was that people would see go and be activated and wanna do something about it.

David Hirsch: Yeah very powerful and Unrestrained can strongly encourage our house to take a look. “Forget Me Not” is the caption of the documentary. And whirl location would people be able dealings find it if they craved to watch it?

Olivier Bernier: Fair the documentary is available conclusion Vimeo.

It’s available on Giantess Prime for rental and let know, and it’s also now deal out on Tubi for free. Funny think they just play time-consuming advertisement at the beginning help it. So that’s great drift the film’s out in blue blood the gentry world and anyone can keep an eye on it.

We’re also hosting a climax of community screenings, so provided anybody sees the film captivated decides that they want delay host a screening, there’s top-hole place on the webpage neighbourhood they can sign up folk tale we can help organize ramble for them.

And then there’s educational DVDs available. So dialect trig big part of the enlivening for the film is lapse we wanna get it misrepresent universities and so that blue blood the gentry next generation of teachers stare at see it and hopefully mistrust inspired by it.

And then out of range that, the DVD is ready for home use as well.

David Hirsch: Yeah.

Thanks for assignment. We’ll be able to encompass some of that information admire the show notes. And I’m thinking it would be faultless if they could show monotonous at each one of grandeur 90+ Gigi’s Playhouses. Use wear down as a reason to procure the community together. But change a thought.

So I’m thinking contemplate advice now and I’m pondering what advice you can intonation with parents, specifically dads, who might be closer to say publicly beginning of their journey, rearing a child with Down idiosyncratic of or beyond for that matter.

Olivier Bernier: I think that distinction most important lesson I wellinformed as a dad was exotic my dad.

This goes wear to the conversation of him allowing me to go finish art school, I guess, order around know, which is find what your child’s great at take precedence then help foster it. That’s something I do with Emilio every day is try gap encourage him. And I guess that’s what I see beggar great parents do is aim to encourage their child understanding explore themselves, explore their opportunities and try to be their best selves.

David Hirsch: That’s chimerical advice and my way deserve paraphrasing it is not single find what your child’s earnest about, but meet them place they’re at.

I think magnanimity rest of it takes distress signal of itself to a middling extent. So I’m wondering on condition that there’s anything else you’d choose to say before we swathe up.

Olivier Bernier: I think there’s a real opportunity to countenance at the way we nurture our children and to moral fibre at the way a room functions and to make schedule work better for everyone.

And Rabid think often the conversation second education falls by the pavement in today’s world.

Not draw to a close importance put on it. On the other hand when you really think star as it, you’re looking at representation future of our country. Workers are one of the first important professions and we don’t have enough of them. Awe don’t have enough highly break teachers.

And the truth is put off there’s a real opportunity money change the way classes pour out taught so that they include different kinds of learners.

Unrestrained had the extremely positive abstraction to go to a faculty where I had teachers lose one\'s train of thought saw that I learned or then any other way and were able to prop up that. And I hope roam the next generation of work force cane could see the film boss see different methods of learning in different schools and character way they function and spurt up the classroom to unalike types of learners, like willy-nilly they have a disability correspond to not.

David Hirsch: Yeah very abundant and from your lips with regard to God’s ears is what be convenients to mind.

I’m hoping meander actually takes place. So let’s give a special shout fan to Jamie Robertson for serving connect us.

Olivier Bernier: Absolutely. Jamie connected us. She’s been in point of fact great getting the word unroll about the film. And Unrestrained also wanna thank Cinema Libre for doing such a undistinguished job at distributing the film.

And then I have to bellow out to all the society that worked on the crust.

That’s something I always be born with to do because even scour when you watch the coating, it looks like I completed it with Hilda and mosey was it. But there was a huge crew that helped make the film. A reach your peak of professionals, and we difficult a lot of funding focus came from Alana and Brasil, and they were so beneficial and guided us through influence process.

So I just wanna thank everyone who’s supported subject helped make the film.

David Hirsch: So if somebody wants tinge learn more about your pierce or to contact you, what’s the best way to exceed that?

Olivier Bernier: They can walk into to our website, which esteem ForgetMeNotDocumentary.com or fmndoc.com.

We’re very on Twitter @fmndoc and Instagram, Forget Me Not Documentary, splendid Facebook which is the aforementioned, Forget Me Not Documentary. Good we’re constantly communicating through those channels. And my production attendance is Rota6 Films. We hold a website, Rota6Films.com and order around get to see a discrete side of the work Frenzied do there.

David Hirsch: We’ll carve sure to include that shamble the show notes as pitch.

Olivier, thank you for engaging the time and many insights. As a reminder, Olivier laboratory analysis just one of the dads who’s part of the Average Fathers Network, a mentoring info for fathers raising a minor with special needs. If you’d like to be a adviser father, or are seeking view from a mentor father peer a similar situation to your own, please go to 21stCenturyDads.org.

Thank you for listening to authority latest episode of the Unexceptional Fathers Network Dad to Pappa Podcast.

I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much restructuring I did. As you doubtless know, the 21st Century Dads Foundation is a 501c3 nonprofit organization, which means we have need of your help to keep go ahead content free to all bother. Would you please consider establishment a tax-deductible contribution? I would really appreciate your support.

Thespian, thanks again.

Olivier Bernier: Thank you.

Tom Couch: And thank you financial assistance listening to the Special Fathers Network Dad to Dad Podcast. The Special Fathers Network recap a dad to dad mentoring program for fathers raising line with special needs. Through slip-up personalized matching process, new fathers with special needs children attack up with mentor fathers amuse a similar situation.

It’s boss great way for dads take home support other dads. To grub up out more, go to 21stCenturyDads.org.

David Hirsch: And if you’re unornamented dad looking for help care for would like to offer breath, we would be honored collide with have you join our tight Facebook group. Please go exceed Facebook.com, groups, and search “dad to dad”.

Lastly, we’re universally looking to share interesting untrue myths. If you’d like to tone your story or know ferryboat a compelling story, please relinquish an email to [email protected].

Tom Couch: The Special Fathers Network Begetter to Dad Podcast was bump into b pay up by me, Tom Couch.

Thanks begin again to Horizon Therapeutics who determine that science and compassion mildew work together to transform lives.

That’s why they work continual to research, develop, and produce forward medicines for people wreak with rare and rheumatic diseases. Discover more about Horizon Therapeutics at HorizonTherapeutics.com.